Be Kind Anyway

So I’ve been thinking…

There have been many instances over the last few years where I’ve come away shocked by people who have been unkind, manipulative, dishonest, and insensitive without a shred of self-awareness or empathy. I’ll be the first to admit we all have our moments, and I certainly don’t get it right all of the time. I’ve hurt people unintentionally, and I’ve been hurt by people. Anybody else?

But, here’s the thing: my heart is FOR people. Do you know why? Because, Jesus. People matter. YOU matter.

How we show up in the world matters; we are ambassadors of Christ. And, it’s not just in doing the “right” things — just like with everything else, it’s a posture of the heart. It’s doing the right things with the right attitude.

Sometimes, I get disheartened when I see people wounding others, not out of love but with malice. Because, here’s the thing: God is kind. He has demonstrated His kindness to us in big and small ways. And sometimes, He uses people to do that.

I’m so grateful for the people I’ve encountered who are kind, generous, and willing to see others. They have demonstrated the goodness and kindness of God to me in ways that are beautiful and beyond words. That’s the kind of girl—the kind of Christ follower—I want to be

How about you? When you walk into a room are you more concerned with being seen than you are with seeing others? Do you walk into a room with an attitude that says, “Here I am! Do you see me?”

Friend, there’s a better way.  Can I encourage you today toward a heart that says, “There you are! I see you.”

It’s a small but powerful shift in perspective. Because, we all want to know that we matter. To be seen. To be heard. To be known.

Show up and see people. Really see them. And demonstrate the kindness of the Father. Always. Have the same attitude that Jesus had (Phil 2).

Yeah, what if we did that?

Friends, never underestimate the impact of kindness.

Be kind. Even when it’s not convenient. Even when there’s nothing in it for you. Even when the other person isn’t. Do it anyway. Kindness matters. We can’t love them if we refuse to see them.

It may not always be easy—because, people. But it’s always worth it—because, people. We are for people, because Jesus.

Whimsy. For the Win.

Hey, it's me. I love Dr. Pepper and donuts. I have a collection of scented markers and flair pens. And I love to drink sparkling water out of a Smurf glass. Sometimes, I watch cartoons, and I love to play games. I have three suitable-for-adults tulle skirts that I refer to as tutus. Oh! And I love to wear a good, kitschy graphic tee (my current fave features Snoopy). Never mind the Mario Kart Happy Meal toys I have piling up in my office.

I tend to be nostalgic, for sure. I love things that instantly conjure up all the warm, cozy feels. You know, things that remind me of where I came from and who I am. It's why you can often find me wandering through the Peddler's Mall with a warm cup of coffee in my hand, looking at all the things. One of my favorite life rules: "Everybody needs a little whimsy in their life." I believe it. To. my. core.

Maybe you're thinking it's all too absurd. I'm an adult, after all. I get it, I do. I have a serious side, too. Once upon a time, I might have been too serious, uptight even. I can also be very practical. I'm quiet, introverted, and introspective, with very big feelings. E X T R A. I know. Yet, somewhere along the way, I learned that a little whimsy in my life helps more than it hurts. I figured out that all these things at the same time.

That's right, I said W H I M S Y! We don't use that word much anymore. But I love it! It means "playful, lightly fanciful, and/or quaint in an appealing way."

Here's the thing: it's okay to play—even as grown-ups. Not only is it okay, but it's necessary! The benefits are numerous and include improved mental health, emotional stability, lower stress, emotional healing, a positive mindset, boosted creativity, improved relationships, better brain function, and better physical health.

Appropriate expressions of playfulness at appropriate times are healthy. I used to get all tangled up here believing playfulness = immaturity. A well-meaning leader once advised me that playfulness undermines influence, authority, and credibility. I bought into that idea for a long time until I realized it reinforced a fear of man and overemphasized outward appearance. It is possible to take ourselves too seriously because, pride. I'm not advocating for the right to be a goofball! I'm saying this: making room for whimsy in our lives isn't absurd -- it's brave. It's not about abandoning wisdom and turning your nose up at the notion of maturity and responsibility. It's about confidence enough to hold both things in a healthy tension. It means you can intentionally seek out and embrace tiny pockets of joy. You can live without fear of judgment. You can dare to dream and imagine. You can grab hold of genuine curiosity. Life can be challenging, but it can also be wildly beautiful and full of wonder. How I choose to see makes a considerable difference. I want to see the world with wide-eyed wonder.

What's more, I don't have to carry on as if the weight of the world rests on my shoulders. God has the whole wide world in His strong and capable hands. It's not my job to control anything.

So, if you need me, I'll be over here sipping Dr. Pepper out of my fave Smurf glass, choosing wonder over worry, fully believing that sometimes the bravest thing we can do is give ourselves permission to play. Won't you join me?

Sometimes . . .

God is not necessarily trying to break our hearts by directing our path through hard places. 

. . . 

But, friends, He is trying to make us look like Jesus. 

. . . 

You know what else He wants to do? 

. . . 

He wants to cultivate a deep trust in Him and dependence on Him. 

. . . 

He wants to make us ready for all the things He planned and purposed for us before we breathed our first breath. The things He sees coming that we can’t even imagine. 

. . . 

He wants to teach us how to point people to Jesus in all things. He wants to show us how He makes beautiful things out of the hard places. 

. . . 

And above all, He wants us know Him more deeply and intimately and love Him most.

. . . 

Sometimes, heartbreak leads to deeper humility and trust. Sometimes, hard things give you eyes to see Jesus more clearly than before. Why only sometimes? Because you get to choose. 

Choose to surrender. Choose to believe. Choose to trust. Choose to see. 

He cares for us deeply, and He always keeps His promises. 

What's the Big Deal About Birthdays?

I can't help myself. I always make a big fuss around my birthday. I love my birthday. I love birthdays in general, but I digress. For a few weeks leading up to the date, I have fun reminding everyone around me, "It's almost my birthday!" Yeah, I'm that girl. It's funny and ridiculous, but my people love me anyway! And, yes, I know it's probably annoying someone, but that doesn't matter to me. Here's why.

I make a big deal about my birthday because I survived. No, wait. I overcame. I'm here--alive, well, and amazed at the faithfulness of God.

What exactly did I survive? All the hard things. My life has not been rainbows and unicorns all over the place. My story is full of good things, for sure. But, it's also full of hard things, tragedy and trauma included. Oh, and loss, there's been a tremendous amount of loss. Don't we all have those moments in our story that mark us? We are one way before these moments and another way after. Life looks one way before and an entirely different way after. Disappointment is heavy to carry.

For the longest time, I held those moments close to my heart and refused to heal. But somewhere along the way, I loosened my grip and invited God to mend my heart and mind. Here's what I know: I would not be here apart from the power of His unfailing love and kindness toward me.

So, when my birthday rolls around, I remember and celebrate. On purpose. God saved my life and redeemed all the hard things. And, friends, if God can reach down and mend the brokenness in my life, He can do the same for you, for anyone. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is beyond His reach. For every hard and impossible circumstance, there is the unfailing love of an ever-present Savior. I don't want to forget to remember. He has filled my life with greater joy. I'm glad that I get to be alive and that I belong to Him. I mattered to Him enough that He stepped into the brokenness and messiness and rescued me. And, you matter too.

{Missing Someone? Yeah, me too.}

Today I was looking through old photos and videos of my sweet Mamaw. How beautiful and wonderful was she!? Goodness, I miss her so. There's something about sitting beneath the weight of significant loss. It can be cumbersome. But, the Lord is near and brings comfort and healing to our broken hearts. I could tell story after story about my Mamaw -- some of them would make you laugh. Others would make you cry. But every story points to a life well-lived and a woman who was dearly loved. She was lovely, and she was remarkable. 

My mamaw was kind and tender-hearted. She saw great heartache and loss over the course of her life, but it didn't stop her from loving BIG. I admire that about her. She was fiercely loyal. There were ladies in her life that she called a friend for more than 60 years. She had a knack for making the acquaintance of her neighbors and people in the community. When she was for you -- she was all in. 

Mamaw never missed a birthday or an anniversary. Celebrating special occasions and holidays with her people was one of her favorite things to do. Every year she made us a calendar packed full of pictures with each birthdate and anniversary marked. And, without fail, when a significant date or holiday rolled around, you could guarantee a homemade card would find it's way to your mailbox. 

Mamaw laughed, and her laugh was the sweetest. She was funny and a tiny bit feisty. She enjoyed hearing and telling a good story. She could laugh herself straight to tears, and that would make her laugh even more. I've heard that she pulled a prank or two back in the day. 

She was always off on a grand adventure aboard a cruise ship or tour bus. She loved to travel to far off places and to places just down the road. She enjoyed a good show or singing, as she'd call it. She also loved to shop. And, quilt. She was a whiz in the kitchen and hosted with such ease and grace. She taught me how to be a gracious hostess. She also modeled the importance of spending quality time with loved ones. I remember that very clearly even as a young girl. She always showed up. And, she was present. I don't, in fact, ever remember her NOT being there. If she was there, she was likely snapping photos, both candid and posed, because capturing the moments she cherished was essential to her. I am so thankful that she did that. 

But, one of my favorite things about Mamaw, the thing I  found to be SO remarkable was her generosity. She LOVED to give good things to the people for whom she cared. Her generosity was unmatched. She generously gave because she lavishly loved. Those two things combined mean that her life was a beautiful reflection of the love of God. People like my mamaw leave a mark on the lives of those of us who knew them. I'm betting that everyone who knew her could describe one way she made his life a bit brighter. If you were lucky, you'd have a long list of ways she did that. She lived a big life. A meaningful life. One that will not likely be forgotten. It is my privilege to honor her memory. And then there's this: even when we sit in death's shadow, heartbroken by such a significant loss, there's hope. I have the hope of seeing Mamaw again because of Jesus.  In the meantime, I am thankful to have known her and loved her. And, even more than that, to have been loved by her. 

If you are missing someone tonight, I pray that God will be near and bring comfort and healing to your broken heart. I pray He will help you find joy and encouragement in remembering your loved one. Above all, I pray that God will reveal something of Himself in your circumstance that takes your breath away. You know, the kind of thing that fills you with awe and gratitude because you know beyond doubt that He sees you and loves you. Look for Him, friends, even in the midst of your sadness. I promise He's there. Be filled with hope. Death does not have the final word.